They believe their ability is fixed - negatively - and cannot change.īut this of course is not the case – that’s why ‘practice makes perfect’ is one of the oldest sayings in the book! Our staff psychologist Dani Kaufman appeals to the Fixed versus Growth Mindset theory when it comes to negativity.Ī negative child may be stuck in a fixed mindset: So if a negative or pessimistic attitude has been consistent with bad performance, changing attitudes might be just the ticket to changing the outcome, too. ‘It’s a protective mechanism, but it doesn’t have any productive influence on performance, and it can be easy to fall into a negative cycle where there’s no room for change.’ ‘Well feeling negative isn’t going to help anything’, insists Christina. Plus, ‘they have that mentality because the moment they feel any self-doubt, that can affect their performance’, explains Christina.īut what if your child is relating their negativity to an actual (rather than perceived or preemptive) situation, such as consistent bad performance or losses in a sports team? It’s the same reason we have cheer squads! This is because confidence and positive self-talk are motivating factors.
What you hear them saying in pre-game interviews is ‘I’m going to win, I’m the champion, I’m the best’.Īnd this isn’t simply arrogance talking (although there may be a little of that, too)… They assume that the worst thing is much more likely to happen than the best thing.’īut realistically, this simply isn’t the case!Īnd importantly, positive attitudes and affirmations can actually improve performance, whereas negativity can hinder it.Ĭhristina appeals to the attitudes of some of the most famous and successful athletes.ĭo you ever hear a champion basketball player saying ‘I’m going to perform terribly today’? ‘People seem to have an association between being pessimistic and being realistic. ‘There’s a lot of value in positive self-talk’, says our staff psychologist Christina Rigoli. What would be so bad about expecting the best, instead of the worst? Try some positivity! Why are you so sure about how things will turn out? So start by talking to your children and try to find why they’re being so negative and where it’s coming from. In those days, the worst was an attack from a predator, and the risk was serious harm or death.īut for our kids today, the risks are much less severe, and so this approach serves little to no purpose. There can be many reasons for a negative or pessimistic attitude, and they may appear alongside symptoms of depression or anxiety.įor the latter, being negative about a process or situation may be a sort of defence mechanism a way of ‘preparing for the worst’.Īnd in some instances, this can be both adaptive and productive.įrom an evolutionary psychology perspective, our ancient ancestors who were constantly preparing for the worst were the most likely to survive. It’s all about understanding the source of their negativity, and how it manifests itself. So how can we help a pessimistic child to take a more positive approach to life? While many such people consider themselves ‘realists’, in reality, there’s not a whole lot of benefit to this kind of negative thinking.Īnd for the relatively sheltered and protected time of childhood, this attitude is particularly unproductive. We’ve all encountered a ‘Negative Nancy’ in our lives - the type of person who is constantly expecting the worst out of any given situation.
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